Unit 1: Understanding Family
1.1 Family; meaning, definition and characteristics - Families in the Indian context
1.2 Structure, types of families and its impact on children’s development.
1.3 Family culture and practices & its influence on children’s mental and physical well- being.
1.4 Parenting and its types and its impact on children’s education.
1.5 Challenges of parents of 21st century modern day learners.
1.1 Family; meaning, definition and characteristics - Families in the Indian context
The family is generally regarded as a major social institution and a locus of much of a person's social activity. It is a social unit created by blood, marriage, or adoption, and can be described as nuclear (parents and children) or extended (encompassing other relatives).
The family is generally regarded as a major social institution and
a locus of much of a person's social activity. It is a social unit created by
blood, marriage, or adoption, and can be described as nuclear (parents and
children) or extended (encompassing other relatives).
Meaning and Definitions
At the outset it is important to explain the sense in which the
term “family” is used. The word “family” has been taken over from the Roman
word, “famulus”, meaning a servant. In Roman law, the word denoted the group of
producers and slaves and other servants as well as members connected by common
descent or marriage.
(i) Family is “a group defined by a sex relationship
sufficiently precise and enduring to provide for the procreation and upbringing
of children.” MacIver
(ii) Family is “a group of persons united by the ties of marriage, blood
or adoption; consisting of a single household, interacting and
inter-communicating with each other in their respective social roles of husband
and wife, mother and father, son and daughter, brother and sister creating a
common culture.” Burgess and Locke.
(iii) Family is “a more or less durable association of husband and wife
with or without children, or of a man or woman alone, with children.” Nimkoff.
(iv) Family is “a group of persons whose relations to
one another are based upon consanguinity and who are, therefore, kin to another.”
Davis.
(v) Family is “a miniature social organisation,
including at least two generations, and is characteristically formed upon the
blood bond.” Sumner
and Keller
(vi) Family is “a system of relationships existing
between parents and children.” Clare
(vii) Family is “the biological social unit composed
of husband, wife and children.” Eliott and Merrill
(viii) Family is “a group of two or more persons
related by blood, marriage, or adoption and residing together; all such persons
are considered as members of one family.” The American Bureau of the Census
(ix) Family is “a socially recognized unit of people
related to each other by kinship, martial and legal ties.” Anderson and Parker
(x) “Family is the institutionalized social group charged with duty of population replacement.” Green, Arnold
Characteristics
1) A mating relationship:
A mating relationship is the precondition to establish the family, without it family cannot be formed. The mating relationship or marital relationship may be permanent or temporary, it is immaterial but family cannot be thought of without it.
2) A form of marriage:
Marriage is the base of family. Marriage may be monogamous or polygamous or polyandrous and in any form. It is the social institution which helps to establish mating relationship and thereby family is formed.
3) A system of nomenclature and reckoning descent:
Each family is identified by a distinct nomenclature of its own. The members of the family are known by the nomenclature or by a distinctive name. The system of nomenclature involves a mode of reckoning descent. In different societies the descent is traced differently. In matrilineal society it is traced from mother and in patrilineal society it is from father. In some societies it may be traced from both father and mother.
4) An Economic Provision:
Every family has an economic provision to satisfy the economic needs of its members. All the members of the family more or less share with each other. Usually, it is the look out of the head of the family who tries to make all possible arrangement to provide economic comfort to his family members.
5) A common habitation:
Each family has a common home in which all the members can live together. A living or dwelling place is necessary to bear child and care child. Otherwise, child bearing and child rearing cannot be adequately performed in its absence.
Besides the general characteristics, a family possesses the following distinctive features which distinguish it from all other groups or association.
6) Universality:
Family is the most universal of all the groups, associations and institutions in the human society. It has existed in every society ancient, medieval and modern and is found in all parts of the world. Even the animal society is not free from it. In this connection, MacIver has rightly pointed out that, "It is found in all societies, at all stages of social development, and exists far below the human level among a myriad species of animals. Almost every human being is or has been a member of some family".
7) Emotional basis:
Family is based on emotional ties. All the members of the family are emotionally interwoven with one another. The emotions and sentiments of love, affection, sympathy, cooperation, friendship etc. find their expressions in the family particularly in mating, procreation and parental care.
8) Formative influence:
Each family has distinctive customs, traditions, mores, norms and culture. This family culture has a great influence on its members. All the members of the family are bound to observe the family rules and regulations. Family also teaches the social qualities like obedience, tolerance, sympathy, love, affection, and sacrifice. Above all, the family socializes the child, which helps in the development of human personality. Thus, family exercises most profound influence on its members.
9) Limited size:
Family is a primary group; as such its size is quite limited. Generally, family includes only those persons who are born in it and are closely related by blood relationship and adoption. In this way it includes father, mother and their children, so its size is small. Although there are groups smaller than family, but they are not so because of the biological conditions. Hence, biological conditions demand that the family should be limited in size.
10) Nuclear Position:
Family occupies a nuclear position in the social organisation. Different parts of the social organisation find its origin from the family. It is the center of all human activities. The social structure is built around it.
11) Responsibilities of the members:
In the family each members has unlimited responsibility. In other words, they have a deep sense of obligation to the family as a whole. They share the pleasure and pain, burdens and difficulties together and discharge their duties and responsibilities with a united spirit. MacIver has rightly pointed out that, 'In times of crisis men may work and fight and die for the country, but they toil for their families all their lives". In fact the members of a family have unlimited responsibilities and they make sacrifices for their families throughout their lives.
12) Social regulations:
Every family has its own customs, traditions rules and regulations. As an important agent of socialization the family teaches the norms and family culture to its members. The members are socialized in such a manner that they never dare to violate the family rules and regulations. That is why it is said that it is easy to establish a family but it is difficult to break or dissolve it.
13) Permanent and Temporary in Nature:
Family is both an institution and an association. As an institution family is permanent. In the family after marriage some members say son or daughter may leave the family of origin, with this the family never totally dissolves rather it continues to exist in some form or other as an institution On the other hand, as an association it is temporary. It is because family is the most changeable of all important organisaions. The family undergoes variations in its structures and functions from time to time.
In India the family is the most important institution that has survived through the ages. India, like most other less industrialized, traditional, eastern societies is a collectivist society that emphasizes family integrity, family loyalty, and family unity. C. Harry Hui and Harry C. Triandis (1986) defined collectivism, which is the opposite of individualism as, "a sense of harmony, interdependence and concern for others" (p. 244). More specifically, collectivism is reflected in greater readiness to cooperate with family members and extended kin on decisions affecting most aspects of life, including career choice, mate selection, and marriage (Hui and Triandis 1986; Triandis et al. 1988).
The Indian family has been a dominant institution in the life of the individual and in the life of the community (Mullatti 1992). For the Hindu family, extended family and kinship ties are of utmost importance. In India, families adhere to a patriarchal ideology, follow the patrilineal rule of descent, are patrilocal, have familialistic value orientations, and endorse traditional gender role preferences. The Indian family is considered strong, stable, close, resilient, and enduring (Mullatti 1995; Shangle 1995). Historically, the traditional, ideal and desired family in India is the joint family. A joint family includes kinsmen, and generally includes three to four living generations, including uncles, aunts, nieces, nephews, and grandparents living together in the same household. It is a group composed of a number of family units living in separate rooms of the same house. These members eat the food cooked at one hearth, share a common income, common property, are related to one another through kinship ties, and worship the same idols. The family supports the old; takes care of widows, never-married adults, and the disabled; assists during periods of unemployment; and provides security and a sense of support and togetherness (Chekki 1996; Sethi 1989). The joint family has always been the preferred family type in the Indian culture, and most Indians at some point in their lives have participated in joint family living (Nandan and Eames 1980).
1.2 Structure, types of families and its impact on children’s development.
(1) Nuclear family – marital parents with or without children living in a common household.
Characteristics:
— Decrease control of marriage conducted by the elders.
— Decrease control of men in marital life.
— Economic independence of women.
— Smaller in size.
— Decreasing religious control and increasing secularity.
(2) Joint Family :- joint family is a group of small families usually father’s brother and their families live together under a common roof;, sharing a common property, common kitchen and common culture. Father or the oldest brother in this system head of the family, on whom rests the responsibility to make decision for the family members.
Characteristics:
— Large size of family.
— Joint and undivided property.
— Residence under one shelter.
— Common religious practices.
— Bound by responsibilities toward weak and handicapped member of family.
(3) Extended Family: It is an extension of nuclear family. An extended family may live in a single or group of houses within a family compound or the group house can be spread over a place.
Extended family consists of father-mother their children plus close relatives of father and mother who continue to stay with the family.
Extended family secures economy in expenditure and advantage of division of labor.
(4) Single Parent Family: The single parent family consists of one parent raising one or more children on his own. This family may include a single mother with her children, a single dad with his kids, or a single person with their kids.
On the basis of marriage practices sociologist has classified family into following types such as:
This family is based on Monogamy System of marriage, hence known as Monogamous family. This family consists of a husband and his wife. Under this type of family system neither husband nor wife is allowed to have more than one spouse at a time. Both of them are also prohibited to have extra-marital relationship. It has many other advantages because of which it is considered as the ideal form of marriage all over the world.
This type of family is based on polygamy system of marriage. As in polygamy one man marries more than one woman and vice-versa hence two type of family system is found to exists such as polyandrous and polygamous family.
This type of family is based on the endogamic principles of marriage. According to endogamic principles a man is supposed to marry within one’s own group i.e. within one’s own caste, sub-caste, race, varna and class. Accordingly the family which practices the rules of endogamy in marriage is known as endogamous family.
This type of family is based on exogamic rules of marriage. According to these rules one has to many outside one’s own group i.e. outside one’s own gotra, pravar, pnida and village. Accordingly the family which practices the rules of exogamy in marriage is known as exogamous family.
On the basis of power and authority family may be classified into following types such as :
The family in which all the power remains in the hands of patriach or father is known as patriarchal family. In other words in this type of family power or authority is vested in the hands of eldest male member of the family who is supposed to be the father. He exercises absolute power or authority over the other members of family. He owns family property.
After his death authority transferred to the eldest son of family. In this family descent is known through father line. In this type of family wife after marriage come to reside in his husband’s house. This type of family is widely found all over the world Joint family system among the Hindus is a fine example of patriarchal family.
This type of family is just opposite of patriarchal family. In this family power or authority rests on the eldest female member of the family especially the wife or mother. She enjoy absolute power or authority over other members of the family. She owns all the family property. In this family descent is known through the mother.
Headship is transferred from mother to the eldest daughter. Husband remain subordinate to his wife in a matriarchal family. Daughter after marriage reside in her mother’s house and her husband live with her. This type of family is found among the Nayers of Kerala and among the Garo and Khasi tribes of Assam.
The family in which power and authority are equally shared between husband and wife is called as egalitarian family. Both of them take joint decisions or assume joint responsibility. That is why it is called as equalitarian family. In this type of family both son and daughter jointly inherit property equally
On the basis of residence family may be classified into following types:
The family in which after marriage wife comes to reside in the family of her husband is known as patrilocal family. The patrilocal family is also patriarchal and patrilineal in nature.
The family in which after marriage husband comes to reside in the family of her wife is known as matrilocal family. It is just opposite of patrilocal family. This type of family is also Matriarchal and Matrilineal in nature.
In this type of family after marriage the married couple change their residence alternatively. Sometimes wife joins in her husband’s house while at some other times husband resides in wife’s house. That is why this type of family is also known as family of changing residence.
After marriage when newly married couple establish a new family independent of their parents and settled at a new place this type of family is known as neo-local family.
After marriage when the newly married couple reside in maternal uncle’s house the said type of family is known as Avuncu-local family. Avuncu means maternal uncle.
On the basis of rules of descent or ancestry family may be classified into the following types:
This type of family is a common type of family prevalent all over the world. The family in which descent or ancestry is determined through father line and continues through father it is known as patrilineal family. The property and family name is also inherited through father line. The patrilineal family is also patrilocal and patriarchal in nature.
Matrilineal family is just opposite of the patrilineal family. The family in which descent is determined through mother line or continues through mother it is known as Matrilineal family. The property and family name is also inherited through mother line. This right transferred from mother to daughter. A woman is the ancestor of family. The Matrilineal family is Matrilocal and Matriarchal in nature. This type of family found among the Nayers of Kerala and among tribals like Garos and Khashis.
This type of family is the family in which descent or ancestry is traced or determined or run through both father and mother.
The family’s role in developing these various indicators of a child’s health, especially during formative years, is crucial. The eventual progress of children into successful adults is largely attributed to their innate talent, the educational institutes they have passed out from as well as their propensity to work hard. However, the contribution of one’s family structure on the overall health of a child is often understated.
Health does not only mean physical health. In this context, health includes other aspects such as emotional, social and cognitive. The family’s role in developing these various indicators of a child’s health, especially during formative years, is crucial.
A range of emotions such as empathy, trust, compassion, comfort and confidence are developed in an infant due to its bond with the caregiver. As children grow they learn to communicate emotions in a healthy way by primarily observing their family members. By doing things together, family members enhance the emotional development among children. In such families the chances of children experiencing emotional distress are low.
Over time, such children tend to have higher EQ. Several studies have shown that having a higher emotional quotient improves one’s chances of acquiring professional success and enjoying interpersonal relationships.
Children who have a congenial environment at home tend to develop strong social relationships as they grow. Earlier it used to be believed that strong social skills develop naturally. However, the idea that social skills have to be learned is gradually gaining recognition. A positive and vocal family bond plays an important role in enhancing a child’s social behaviour. Social skills can also be taught by family members. When they encourage good behaviour, the same is reinforced among children.
As a child interacts with different family members, they pick up nuances of how individuals across age groups and gender behave. The child not only ends up interacting properly with other adults but also is able to be friendly with other children.
It has also been hypothesised that children imitate what they observes in their immediate environment. Children exposed to better child care, access to essential services, recreational opportunities and high-quality education end up with better developmental outcomes.
Motor skills among children are developed during early childhood. Encouragement by parents and other family members play a key role in an infant learning to walk and run. Even activities like holding a spoon, pushing objects, etc, help the child develop confidence.
A family that is progressive and is economically stable would also understand the importance of a balanced and holistic diet. According to the latest figures provided by the National Health Survey, 36 per cent of Indian children are underweight and 38 per cent are stunted. The lack of proper nutrients in a child’s diet can have long term consequences. For instance, protein deficiency not only affects physical growth but also cognitive development.
Children who engage in good social relationships tend to perform well in academics. Residential stability produces children who are likely to attend school a higher number of times as compared to those from less stable homes.
Children separated from parents or family undergo neurological damage which can last a lifetime. Such children may score lower in IQ tests, their fight or flight system would be permanently broken and they wouldn’t respond to stressful situations. Unfortunately, unlike other parts of the body, most cells in the brain find it unable to regenerate. Separating the caregiver and care receiver harms the most primal bond between two human beings.
In a household with a child, the latter’s wellbeing must be paramount. Older family members must realise that if there are shortcomings across any of the different health indicators written above, the effects of the same could be felt even when the child grows into an adult. Parents and other family members must take cognizance and work towards plugging any gaps in the family structure that could have an adverse effect on the child’s development. All these factors will play a crucial role in enabling the comprehensive development of a child.
1.3 Family culture and practices & its influence on children’s mental and physical well- being.
Cultural background gives children a sense of who they are. The unique cultural influences children respond to from birth, including customs and beliefs around food, artistic expression, language, and religion, affect the way they develop emotionally, socially, physically, and linguistically.
When a child’s self-identity is at odds with the social environment due to cultural differences, it can hinder learning. Fortunately, culturally competent educators help children of all cultural backgrounds learn by showing an understanding and acceptance of diverse cultures and how they make each child uniquely valuable.
Because culture is such a powerful indicator of a child’s future well-being, those who work with children, including social workers, counselors, and specialists, need to understand the cultural influences on child development and how they impact the way people grow and learn.
Culture influences development from the moment we’re born, making an impact on us as we grow. For instance, culture can affect how children build values, language, belief systems, and an understanding of themselves as individuals and as members of society.
Children can receive these cultural influences in different ways, such as through their parents, their environment, and the media. How society shows an understanding of diverse cultures can impact a child’s development in many ways, such as how confident in themselves or how comfortable interacting with others they become as adults.
Parents’ culture can influence their children’s development. A 2019 study, for example, found that cultural values often influence the way parents raise their children, including how they discipline and set boundaries. It makes sense that parents raise their children based on cultural influences because they’re preparing them to develop behaviors necessary to operate and thrive in that culture. However, when the social environment and home culture clash, developmental issues can arise.
Parents’ cultural influences can impact how they discipline a child’s behavior. This, in turn, can affect a child’s development, particularly if those methods of discipline differ from the dominant cultural tradition.
Before delving into the methods of discipline and culture, what do the terms “collectivist” and “individualistic” mean exactly? Essentially, a collectivist culture values and rewards the prioritization of community needs over individual needs, as well as generous, kind, collaborative behavior. Collectivism is the norm in Asian, Central American, South American, and African cultures.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, an individualistic culture values and rewards assertiveness and independent action, stressing the importance of the individual over the group. Individualism dominates in North American and Western European cultures.
The 2019 study cited earlier found that parents from individualistic cultures discipline differently from parents from collectivist cultures. The former group of parents might discipline their children by taking something away that matters to them personally. On the other hand, parents from collectivist cultures might tell their children to think about how their behavior affects others.
The study found that children raised in individualistic cultures often described themselves based on their unique attributes, such as “I am good at math.” Meanwhile, children raised in collectivist cultures were more likely to describe themselves based on their relationships with others, such as “I am my mother’s daughter.”
Child development can be influenced if parents or teachers discipline children according to the dominant culture — the U.S. has an individualistic culture — rather than the culture of their family of origin. For example, children whose parents have disciplined them to value cooperation over competition might become confused or upset when a teacher urges them to be competitive.
Parental Influences on Children’s Social Behavior Varies by Culture
Children learn how to act by interacting with their parents. For this reason, the parents’ cultural background often influences a child’s behavior.
Communication style is a case in point. Children tend to communicate in a style that resembles their parents’ way of communicating, and diverse cultures converse and explain things in different ways.
Children who communicate based on an individualistic cultural model will often tell long, self-focused stories with themes of autonomy and personal preference. Conversely, children who communicate based on a collectivist cultural model will often tell brief, other-oriented stories with themes of authority and interrelationships.
These cultural influences on children’s language development can help or hinder them on the playground, and later in the workplace. If children’s culture is respected at school, including the way the children interact verbally with others, then they’ll be more likely to experience the acceptance and respect they need to grow and develop. They’re more likely to become adults with a healthy self-image who feel understood and capable of confident, fruitful interactions. If not, however, they may become adults who hesitate to raise their voices and be heard for fear of being ridiculed or misunderstood.
Environmental influences on child development can include influences from community and culture as well as from environmental health hazards. Pollution from a nearby power plant, contaminated water, or lead in the home, for example, can cause lasting impacts on children’s health. As the CDC reports, environmental contaminants can cause greater harm to children than to adults because children’s bodies are still developing.
In fact, children take in more air, water, and food per pound of body weight, making them more vulnerable to health issues from environmental hazards. The health issues might not show up until later in life, causing difficulty in school, work, and socialization. A child exposed to polluted air, for example, might develop asthma as a teenager.
Children of low-income communities are most likely to be at risk of exposure to environmental hazards. As the National Environmental Health Association (NEHA) reports, low-income communities may have poor infrastructure, making them more vulnerable to the effects of natural disasters, such as contaminated water and damaged drainage systems. They may also be located closer to factories and highways, both of which contribute to high levels of pollution in the air, soil, and water.
1.4 Parenting and its types and its impact on children’s education.
Your parenting style can affect everything from how much your child weighs to how she feels about herself. It's important to ensure your parenting style is supporting healthy growth and development because the way you interact with your child and how you discipline her will influence her for the rest of her life. Researchers have identified four types of parenting styles:
Each style takes a different approach to raising children and can be identified by a number of different characteristics.
Do any of these statements sound like you?
If any of those ring true, you might be an authoritarian parent. Authoritarian parents believe kids should follow the rules without exception.
Authoritarian parents are famous for saying, "Because I said so," when a child questions the reasons behind a rule. They are not interested in negotiating and their focus is on obedience.
They also don't allow kids to get involved in problem-solving challenges or obstacles. Instead, they make the rules and enforce the consequences with little regard for a child's opinion.
Authoritarian parents may use punishments instead of discipline. So rather than teach a child how to make better choices, they're invested in making kids feel sorry for their mistakes.
Children who grow up with strict authoritarian parents tend to follow rules much of the time. But, their obedience comes at a price.
Children of authoritarian parents are at a higher risk of developing self-esteem problems because their opinions aren't valued.
They may also become hostile or aggressive. Rather than think about how to do things better in the future, they often focus on the anger they feel toward their parents. Since authoritarian parents are often strict, their children may grow to become good liars in an effort to avoid punishment.
Effects on Children
Just by reading about this parenting style, you can imagine how suffocated and neglected a child must feel. Children parented by authoritarian style become proficient and obedient. But this proficiency comes at a cost. And the cost is too high. The negative effects of this parenting style on children are many. Let’s look at how authoritative parenting impacts children.
· Children remain sad or unhappy.
· They feel socially incompetent throughout life.
· They may have low self-esteem.
· Children may show behavioural issues like depression, anxiety, and suicidal tendencies on growing up.
· Children have a habit of spoon-feeding. They cannot take any decision on their own. They are dependent.
· They always have a feeling of insecurity.
· They may become prone to mental illness.
· They can turn to use drugs to calm their mind and nervous system.
· Children may have little or no affection towards their parents.
Do any of these statements sound like you?
If those statements sound familiar, you may be an authoritative parent. Authoritative parents have rules and they use consequences, but they also take their children's opinions into account. They validate their children's feelings, while also making it clear that the adults are ultimately in charge.
Authoritative parents invest time and energy into preventing behavior problems before they start. They also use positive discipline strategies to reinforce positive behavior, like praise and reward systems.
Researchers have found kids who have authoritative parents are most likely to become responsible adults who feel comfortable expressing their opinions.
Children raised with authoritative discipline tend to be happy and successful. They're also more likely to be good at making decisions and evaluating safety risks on their own.
Effects on Children
Authoritative parenting style has a positive impact on children. Parents who are raised by authoritative parents tend to be happy.
· Kids who are raised by an authoritative parenting approach grow up to be happy and satisfied human.
· They value independence in life.
· They tend to active throughout life.
· They tend to achieve academic excellence.
· They become socially competent and easily keep their point in public.
· They have high self-esteem.
· They have better mental health.
· They are emotionally attached to their parents.
Do any of these statements sound like you?
If those statements sound familiar, you might be a permissive parent. Permissive parents are lenient. They often only step in when there's a serious problem.
They're quite forgiving and they adopt an attitude of "kids will be kids." When they do use consequences, they may not make those consequences stick. They might give privileges back if a child begs or they may allow a child to get out of time-out early if he promises to be good.
Permissive parents usually take on more of a friend role than a parent role. They often encourage their children to talk with them about their problems, but they usually don't put much effort into discouraging poor choices or bad behavior.
Kids who grow up with permissive parents are more likely to struggle academically.
They may exhibit more behavioral problems as they don't appreciate authority and rules. They often have low self-esteem and may report a lot of sadness.
They're also at a higher risk for health problems, like obesity, because permissive parents struggle to limit junk food intake. They are even more likely to have dental cavities because permissive parents often don't enforce good habits, like ensuring a child brushes his teeth.
Effect on Children
Let us now look at how this parenting way affects children.
· Children become free-thinkers and are not afraid to speak their mind.
· They cannot be convinced easily for supporting something wrong in their beliefs.
· These children are more likely to struggle academically.
· These children cannot follow rules.
· They do not have self-control.
· They have egoistic tendencies.
· They have major issues in social interactions and relationships.
Do any of these statements sound familiar?
If those statements sound familiar, you might be an uninvolved parent. Uninvolved parents tend to have little knowledge of what their children are doing. There tend to be few rules. Children may not receive much guidance, nurturing, and parental attention.
Uninvolved parents expect children to raise themselves. They don't devote much time or energy into meeting children's basic needs. Uninvolved parents may be neglectful but it's not always intentional. A parent with mental health issues or substance abuse problems, for example, may not be able to care for a child's physical or emotional needs on a consistent basis.
At other times, uninvolved parents lack knowledge about child development. And sometimes, they're simply overwhelmed with other problems, like work, paying bills, and managing a household.
Children with uninvolved parents are likely to struggle with self-esteem issues.
They tend to perform poorly in school. They also exhibit frequent behavior problems and rank low in happiness.
Effects on Children
The possible outcomes of uninvolved child-rearing styles are:
· Children have low self-esteem.
· Children show behavioural issues.
· Children tend to be unhappy and discontent.
· Children perform badly in academics.
· Children become impulsive.
· Children are unable to regulate emotions throughout life.
The attachment parenting style is the same as the authoritative style, but you give importance to physical touch and affection as well.
Many experts see it as a subset of the authoritative parenting style. The emotional and parenting aspects are similar to the authoritative style. The thing that is new here is that the parent puts greater emphasis on physical touch and affection. These parents believe that babies are given birth to stay physically close and be nurtured.
This physical closeness mostly applies during the toddler years, when the child remains physically close, especially to the mother. This parenting style involves skin-to-skin contact, breastfeeding on demand, and minimizing separation from the child.
Effect on Children
The effects of attachment parenting style on children are positive as well. Let’s look at how attachment parenting benefits a child.
· Children cope with life adversities and stress better.
· Children grow up to be happy and content.
· Children are socially competent and have great self-esteem.
· Children have better mental health.
The free-range parenting style is the same as the permissive parenting style but with a few restrictions.
The free-range parents are the ones who allow their kids to do things that they think the child is capable of doing. Parents who follow the free-range parenting style do not allow their child to do whatever their child wants, but they want their child to be independent. A free-range parent will let the child explore new things without helping or interrupting (only till the point the child is safe).
Effect on Children
The possible outcomes of this parenting style are explained below.
· The child becomes more capable of handling shock and challenges in life.
· It encourages creativity.
· The child has strong problem-solving skills.
· The only possible downside could be society talking about your negligence as a parent. In certain countries, there could be laws against such kinds of parenting, especially for toddlers.
Sometimes parents don’t fit into just one category, so don't despair if there are times or areas where you tend to be permissive and other times when you're more authoritative. It is hard to remain consistent when balancing life and parenting. Don't engage in parent guilt or shame. That's not helpful.
The studies are clear, however, that authoritative parenting is the best parenting style. But even if you tend to identify with other parenting styles more, there are steps you can take to become a more authoritative parent.
With dedication and commitment to being the best parent you can be, you can maintain a positive relationship with your child while still establishing your authority in a healthy manner. And over time, your child will reap the benefits of your authoritative style.
1.5 Challenges of parents of 21st century modern day learners.
Past parenting philosophies have parents overreacting, underreacting, or in denial, making excuses for their kids’ behavior, providing choices versus direction, causing children confusion when they need boundaries and direction. Over the past decades, we’ve seen parents beg and negotiate with their kids, making feeble attempts to get them to psychologically buy into the right thing to do, sometimes throwing money, gadgets, and opportunities at them, resulting in the creation of a self-indulging child with a sense of entitlement and a false sense of security. And later they witnessed this blowing up in their children’s face once they reach adolescence or adulthood, where behavior and attitude become far less excusable and accepted.
Today, many adolescents, college-bound young adults, and graduates evidence being unarmed with skillsets and coping mechanisms to deal effectively with the challenges they’re presented and instead continue to demonstrate expectations that the world will treat them in the same manner their parents did—and of course are surprised at the outcome. We see young adults jumping from one job or opportunity to another, or taking an elongated time to finish college, and often returning home due to failed attempts at launching. In general, they are not developing the kind of independence and capability to deal effectively with life’s challenges.
In some cases, these young people demonstrate depression, anxiety, or panic attacks, engage in self-harm, or make poor decisions that impact their success; this is primarily because parents weren’t involved early on and throughout their life, directing, modeling and coaching them away from the sometimes negative alternatives they’ve now turned toward.
This book teaches parents to recognize the challenges and opportunities children face early by putting a new twist to the old 3Rs, suggesting parents need to pay more attention to their child’s world:
• learn to Read their child’s environment, recognize the challenges, conflicts, or opportunities their children are presented with, know who and what influences them, and know how all this affects their performance.
• help Regulate and develop their children’s emotional control. By teaching emotional control, parents can learn how children slip into negative mood states —which, if left uncontrolled, can impact their success, color the decisions they make and the behavior they demonstrate as well as the responses they may seek in their world.
• Redirect their child’s behavior in order to achieve positive outcomes, helping their children accomplish relevant goals that lead to a heightened sense of self-worth, self-assurance, and motivation for their present and future endeavors.
What are the new challenges that parents face and where do they come from?
Today, kids face challenges and dangers that most of us never dreamed of when we were growing up. Online predators, mass school shootings, cyberbullying—all of which can lead to confusion, anxiety, depression, performance issues, and suicidal behavior. In addition, they spend more time staring into screens than we ever imagined, absorbing incredible amounts of information beyond our control. The consequences of these influences, as well as societal pressure, impact their day-to-day life.
In addition, a lack of support and adjustment to family dysfunction, divorce, and remarriage, and a lack of parental awareness on how this impacts their child can often lead to depression and anxiety, difficulty in school as well int relationships as adults. Social media influence, online pornography, substance abuse, and bullying are all alternatives some kids now turn to in order to cope with heightened degrees of emotionality because parents aren’t paying attention. This, together with a lack of healthy coping mechanisms and a lack of positive social interaction and integration with peers, impacts how children deal with the conflict and challenges they are surrounded by and lead to questions about their capability, purpose, and confidence.
Pay attention to what’s going on in the child’s life and incorporate the new 3Rs. Read a child’s environment, paying close attention to what’s going on in the child’s life and what influences their world. Help children regulate their emotional temperature by paying attention to how they respond to influences, teach them how to control their emotions, and redirect their behavior, paying attention to their child’s accomplishments and disappointments and directing them to their highest personal success and significance.
Also, it is important to know that self-esteem, self-concept, and motivation aren’t birthrights; they have to be worked for, and it’s a parent’s responsibility to be the teacher. Today, parenting is more than being a child’s best friend or buying the latest technology. It’s about leadership and sometimes having to make unpopular decisions because it’s in the best interest of the child. If parents don’t, no one else will.